What To Expect At A Bat Mitzvah

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A bat mitzvah is a traditional Jewish celebration of a young woman coming of age. Orthodox and Conservative Jews celebrate this occasion when a girl turns 12, while Reform Jews hold this event upon a girl's 13th birthday. If you have been invited to a bat mitzvah celebration but you are not of the Jewish faith, you may not know what to expect. Continue reading to learn more about the etiquette and customs of a bat mitzvah celebration:

Shabbat Services

In most cases, a bat mitzvah service is held in a synagogue during Shabbat morning services, which are on Saturday. Occasionally, a family may choose to have services in a synagogue on Friday or Saturday evening, and every once in a while private services are held outside of a synagogue. When you're invited to a bat mitzvah service, the time on the invitation is typically the time that the service will begin, so plan on being a few minutes early so you can find a seat. 

Men and women usually dress up for a bat mitzvah celebration, with men wearing suits and women wearing dresses. During the service in the synagogue, men, and sometimes women depending on the synagogue, wear a head covering called a kippah. Even if you are not Jewish, you can wear one during the service-- most synagogues have a basket of extra kippahs, and it is not uncommon for families to have custom kippahs made for guests of a bat mitzvah service.

Prayer shawls called a tallit are offered to men, and sometimes women upon entering a synagogue for a bat mitzvah service. You may be offered a tallit by an usher, but if you are not Jewish it is advised that you do not accept one.

Reception

A bat mitzvah is a joyous event, and most families throw large receptions after the religious services. The reception may either be immediately after the service, or that evening after sundown. During the reception, guests usually enjoy a meal and many families hire bands or DJs to provide entertainment. A big part of a bat mitzvah reception is the candle lighting ceremony, where the bat mitzvah celebrant lights candles in honor of different family members and friends.

Gifts

Traditionally, guests of a bat mitzvah bring gifts for the child being honored. It is best to deliver the gift at the reception instead of the synagogue service, and there will usually be a gift table near the entrance of the venue. One of the most popular gifts for a girl celebrating a bat mitzvah is money. If you prefer to purchase a gift, it is often recommended to give Judaica items, such as a menorah or Sabbath candlesticks.

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